Is Flirting Adultery?

February 13, 2013

The gym where I workout has a daycare so people with children can come and work out.  One day before I left the gym, I found myself in a conversation with the workers.  One of the employees was talking about her personal trainer, a guy who also works at the gym.  She was going on and on about his personal life and after some time of talking about him,  she wanted to know if I thought he was cute.  I wasn’t expecting that but I said, “yeah, I guess, but it doesn’t matter what I think because I married.”  And what do you think came out of her mouth next? Yes, you guessed it, the classic statement “it’s ok to look, just don’t touch.” Advice like this will only lead us on a road to divorce.

The divorce rate within the Church is just as high as those outside of the church.  We cannot have a wonderful Christian marriage following the worlds ideas about marriage, we must open our bible and pray  and ask God to show us the true way we must operate within our marriage.  The Lord desires us to be one with our spouse, it is hard to become one when we only have half of ourselves in the marriage.  Our society has develop so many ways to be married yet remain single minded.

Is it ok to look at someone that ‘s not your spouse as long as you do not touch them?   The answer is NO!  It is not ok, but it sounds good and gives people an excuse to do what they want.  If we listen to the worlds advice we will get the worlds results.  On the contrary, if we read our bible we will get God’s results.  The bible says in Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

So many people including Christians believe that it is ok to look as long as you do not act on your thoughts.    In order for us to have the kind of marriage God desires us to have we must read the bible to find out what makes our marriage different.  It’s start with our thinking.  We understand through reading the bible that everything begins with a thought.  If we want to guard out marriages from infidelty, divorce, or simply from having a miserable marriage  we must pay close attention to our thoughts.  The bible explains how important our thoughts are in James  1:13-15

14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Just looking or flirting may seem harmless but in reality it is the gateway for adultery.  So have you found yourself in a situation where you are looking just for fun?  Well, now that you know the truth about “looking but not touching”  it is time to change your behavior, ” Stop doing wrong, learn to do right”  as instructed in Isaiah 1: 16-17.  It is never too late to change.  How can you reverse the atmosphere you have already set?  A well known evanglist named T.D. Jakes once offered this advice.  Whenever you want to change something you always go in the opposite direction of what you have been doing.

So if you are a person that is used to “looking,” stop!  It is that simple, do not look ,focus on what you are doing at the time.  I have found that we are extremely nosey in general.  A good way to change your staring behavior is to focus on yourself.

Challenge:  For this week I want you to pay attention to your own business.  Sounds easy enough, right?  Give it a try and you will see that you have to be intentional about doing what is right because our first nature is to do what is wrong see (Romans 7:18-20).


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