My Christian Marriage Is Not Going The Way I Expected

July 9, 2012

Many of us desire to have a better Christian marriage but what are we doing to make that desire become a reality?  While my family and I were out and about my husband read a sign that said ” a goal without a plan is just a wish, how many wishes come true?”  If we want a better marriage we must create a plan for it.

We study to understand how to do everything else properly but marriage, and marriage is a lifelong commitment!   No wonder so many marriages are ending in divorce.  How can we expect for our marriages to last or even be enjoyable if we are not putting anything into making them better?

I enjoy reading different articles off of the computer.  This past week I came across an article, “New Rules For A Good Marriage.”   Naturally I am curious, everyone could use a little help improving their marriage.  I clicked on the article and to my surprise the very first tip contradicted the bible.  A red flag went off in my mind. 

There is no way anyone can have a great marriage, NOT following bible.  The first tip read like this: Sleep on it. conflicts are best dealt with when you have calmed down and are well rested.”  God clearly tells us in Ephesians 4:26-27 26 “In your anger do not sin”[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.”  We may not resolve every disagreement before we go to bed but it will definitely help us get better at managing our anger over time.

Most people could definitely benefit from being able to manage our anger better.  How many of us have said things to our spouse out of anger that we later regretted?  Many of us are doing a lot of things that we know are hurting our marriage.  If we want a better marriage we must do as God instructs us to do in Isaiah 1:16-17, 16 “…..stop doing wrong. 17Learn to do right;”

Whatever you are doing that you know is hurting your marriage, stop it!  It is as simple as that. Stop doing whatever you are doing and seek God’s word so that you can learn how to operate better within your Christian marriage.  God promises us that if we stop doing wrong and learn to do right we will be blessed.  We decide what kind of harvest we will reap based off of the choices we make on a daily basis.

Would you like to become best friends with your spouse? Well, you have to do more than just desire a change.  Remember, a goal without a plan is just a wish and how many wishes come true?  Here are three tips for making your goal become a reality:

1. Stop doing wrong.  Learn to do what is right. The first step to having the marriage you want now, is to change the way you are treating your spouse.  The way you are treating them could be through your words, actions and thoughts, whatever is in us will ultimately come out of us.  Many of us have heard the scripture verse found in Matthew 7:12 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”  We must take on the fruit of the spirit and love the way God tells us to love.

2. Pray together and individually– A couple that prays together, stays together! There is no way your marriage can fell if the two of you are on one accord seeking help from our Lord, Jesus the Christ.  We are instructed to pray without ceasing in 1 Thessalonians 5:17.

3.  Study and Apply the word–  Now it is time to begin to walk out the word that we have read in the bible ( husband and wife.)

Challenge:  Write down the area in your marriage that needs help.  Focus on yourself and how you can improve this area.  I know it is easier to blame your spouse, but if it is bothering you then YOU are supposed to do  something about it.  Husbands may wish to read “5 Tips for Meeting Your Wife’s Needs” Wives you may wish to read “Three Guaranteed Ways To Love Your Husband.”

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